Would you date someone who recreationally does cocaine?
Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. Join 4, readers in helping fund MetaFilter. Vote by Fantastic flag, all redreational, in the July Best Post Contest! Ask MetaFilter querying the hive mind. September 3, I have some experience of drugs, but am now firmly ckcaine because of the health risks etc.
The issue is, we keep having quite bitter arguments about drugs - where recrational arguing its too risky and that there arent enough advantages to recreational drug use, and he argues that they are used for temporarily removing the ego and personal growth and development, which cannot be attained or not as easily attained without tripping or getting high. His friends have dating a recreational cocaine user preached to me about the same things, and despite the fact that dating a recreational cocaine user feel like they are being the immature ones I'm hoping this is something we can eventually both be mature about and just accept each others opinion.
Is there something i am obviously not understanding about jser This is now involving his friends, what can i do? Are they arguing with you because they want you tot take them too, or because you want them or him to stop taking them? Those are pretty different conflicts, in some ways, but the short answer is you can't change people, and if one of you feels like you need to change the other to be happy, the relationship ain't gonna work.
What drugs are they taking? You are probably fundamentally incompatible, or at least in very different life stages. There's critical information missing here, though -- is this an LSD trip every two months? How have you ended up having these discussions with his friends? The issue is, we keep having dating a recreational cocaine user bitter arguments about drugs It takes two people to argue, and two people to politely disagree. You're half responsible for either outcome.
Try to keep his friends separate from him in your own mind, and don't treat them the same way during "bitter arguments. If it's not true, your relationship probably needs structural changes that don't have anything to do with this particular topic. You don't need that noise. If you're not into drugs, hang out with people who aren't. Is there something i am obviously not understanding about drugs?.
The fact that you aren't more specific than "drugs," makes it sounds like there is, as though you think all mind-altering substances and all ways of using them are equivalent. Anyone who is making blanket statements about "recreational drug taking" is very naive on the subject. If you provide some specifics you can get some actual info. I'd be more concerned that this is his big argument for it.
It would have more integrity, to my mind, to just say, I like getting high. It doesn't hurt anyone. But the number of people who've achieved staggering personal growth without drugs is overwhelming even to consider. On top of that, no one should be anything other than respectful about your distaste for using drugs, and from the other standpoint, it's not your cocainw or business if his friends do. As far as your boyfriend, though is concerned, he should especially a treat your decision with respect and b develop some compromises about the timing of it maybe he can go out on his own and go nuts on Fridays and you can go hang out with your friends or something.
Personally, for me, my biggest problem would be that logic up top. In an ideal world, i would prefer he didn't take them. I'm not dating a recreational cocaine user why they have started arguing with me, i doubt theyre trying to make me take them too, perhaps only for the reason that i dont agree with them?
Cocwine if it's marijuana, stay far far away. When my dating a recreational cocaine user tried to recreatoinal pot when he was young, it gave him a panic attack. Are the people who claim to care about you saying that you should endanger your health, just because it works for them? Drugs affects everyone differently; they're being snobby at best, homicidal at worst, if they're pressuring you to do drugs. This Carolyn Hax column discusses the issue in a very thoughtful way, I think.
If the way you and them "have fun" on such a basic level is just too different, then the relationship may not progress very much further. I don't think it matters whether it's LSD or just too many Red Bulls. You don't like what he's doing, and he insists on doing it. One of you wants the other to change in a way that you each don't wish to change. And if one of you caves to the other's wishes just to save the relationship, there's going to be resentment later on. I have been there.
Of dating a recreational cocaine user, you can recfeational to become more educated on whatever drugs they're taking to recrrational sure your opinion is well-formed, but the bottom line is you're having "bitter disagreements" about something important to of you. That's going to dating sites birmingham england a sore point until the end.
You still haven't provided examples of the drugs they take. This is important because dzting are serious differences between the effects and dangers of different drugs. If your arguments don't take that into account, you may well come off as simply prudish and conservative for arguing against drug use as opposed to simply saying they aren't your thing, which is always ok. Regardless, this sounds dating a recreational cocaine user it's turning into a major compatibility issue.
You should either decide to disagree, change, or decide to get out of the relationship. I'll take flak for saying it But drugs aren't normal, they're not necessary, they're not "a part of who" anyone is. Unlike disabilities, people choose to abuse substances that alter their state of mind. Why they do it is up to themthey don't like who they are, they don't like their current status, they use it to cope, whatever it is.
Doesn't necessarily mean usef a bad person, but it means that they've chosen a way to live their life. You have chosen another way to live your life. If this person is a regular user of anything to the extent that it causes arguments in your relationship, it means you will always suck hind tit to the substances he's abusing.